They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway

This is going to be the Good, the Bad, and the U-G-L-Y! You ain’t got no alibi your ugly yah yah you ugly of Seattle theatre post.

First things first a couple do’s if you’re going to see a show especially if it’s one I’m seeing the same night.

  • Wear deodorant so you don’t smell: there are very few things worse than sitting near someone who smells like B.O. like sitting next to someone who smells like an ashtray.
  • Arrive on time: If you know you have tickets to the show arrive with time to spare so people like me are stuck waiting 6-15 minutes for the show to start.  I begrudgingly give a 5 minute window.
  • It’s not OK to talk to the actors on stage: don’t go yelling out their name or their characters name it’s rude and distracting to everyone around you.

Now for actors, directors, stage managers, theatre companies etc….

  • Start your shows on time. I arrived on time and if your other patrons are not courteous enough to arrive on time why should I be punished with a late start, I shouldn’t so start on time.
  • Keep intermissions to their allotted minutes.  Nothing like having a 30 minute break between acts.
  • Don’t give away free drinks if you only have one toilet; see item above, it causes a longer than needed intermission.
  • If people are in a musical make sure they can carry a tune; I don’t know how many times my ears have bled from off pitch and out of tune singers.
  • If you are going to have a Christmas show PLEASE NO sing-along Christmas song time, it is wrong so, so wrong.
  • Don’t break the 4th wall unless it’s done to perfection; otherwise its can be a bit uncomfortable.
  • Do not put naked hairy asses in the audience faces it not right and gross and something I don’t need to see EVER AGAIN!
  • I hate to say it but this year I learned two things 1. Seattle has a lot of shitty theatre but on the upside 2. Seattle also has a lot of amazingly awesome theatre.

In 2013 I saw the most theater I’ve ever seen in a year thanks to being a TPS judge here’s a list of everything I was able to see in 2013, a total of 37 shows and no I won’t say which ones I liked and which ones I didn’t like that would be too mean even for me.

Date

Show

Where

01/15

Book of Mormon Paramount

01/23

Shirley Valentine ArtsWest

01/24

Undo Annex

01/30

Mousetrap Village Theater

02/02

A Behanding in Spokane Theater Schmeater

02/08

Next to Normal Balagan Theatre

02/17

Ruthless the Musical Coronado Playhouse

02/22

Photograph 51 Seattle Repertory

03/09

Music Man 5th Ave Theatre

03/10

Five Women Wearing The Same Dress Theater 4 Seattle Center

03/13

Next Fall ArtsWest

04/05

August: Osage County Balagan Theatre

04/12

Rent Second Story Rep

04/27

The Final Tribunal into the Mysterious Death of Mister Senor Salvador Dali Pony World Theatre at Theatre Off Jackson

05/01

33 Variations ArtsWest

05/05

Trails Everett Village

05/23

The Language Archives Seattle Public

06/01

Tall Skinny Cruel Cruel Boys Washington Ensemble Theatre

06/23

Other Desert Cities ACT Theatre

07/13

The Clockwork Professor Theatre Off Jackson

07/17

Chess ArtsWest

07/20

Illyria Taproot Theatre

07/28

Pirates of Penzance 5th Ave Theatre

08/01

Shakespeare in the Park – Midsummer Lincoln Park

08/04

Lysistrada Intiman Theatre

08/08

Wooden O – The Tempest Luther Burbank Park

08/10

We Won’t Pay, We Won’t Pay Intiman Theatre

09/07

Stu for Silverton Intiman Theatre

09/27

Soft Click of a Switch – MAP Theatre West of Lenin

09/28

Secondhand Lions 5th Ave Theatre

10/04

Servant of Two Masters Seattle Repertory Theatre

10/12

Brighten Beach Memoirs Spokane Interplayers

10/26

The Underneath Annex Theatre

10/26

Pippi Longstocking Seattle Children’s Theatre

11/22

Floyd Collins StageRIGHT @ Richard Hugo House

12/14

Total Family Massage: The Musical! Eclectic Theater

 

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2 thoughts on “They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway

  1. Shari Peterman

    Wow. That’s awesome. What is a TPS Judge? About how much did you have to pay for current ones like Book of Mormon?

    Reply
    1. mitzanator Post author

      Shari, thought I’d reply here too. 🙂
      TPS is a service organization for theatre who put on the Gregory awards which is like the equivalent of the Tony’s for Seattle but on a much smaller scale and being a judge helps select those shows/actors/directors that get nominated. Book of Mormon were the most expensive tickets at a little less than $150. The majority of the shows I saw were free because of having to judge them or going with someone else who had to judge them.

      Reply

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